Searching For Love Online

fingers2If you’re tired of the same old bar scene all the time, then you might want to try searching for love online.  This is the best way to see some fresh new faces who are all looking for romance.

That’s actually one of my favorite parts of online dating.  You know people are on there because they want to meet people and they are looking for love.  You don’t have to worry about whether or not the person is available or not.  So it takes some of the guesswork away (and this is especially true for my gay friends).

However, there are certain things that you should definitely keep in mind when it comes to being safe, especially for women.

First of all, you should meet your date in a public place.  This ensures that you’re not in danger in any way.  This also ensures that you’re not going to get cornered by anyone or get into an uncomfortable situation.

I also suggest that you have some sort of communication with the person over the phone or at least by text before you meet them.

Being catfished is always a fear, but that is a rare occurance I have found.  It’s never happened to me or my friends, although men tend to lie about their height much more than women.  Women and men also tend to lie about their weight or post old pictures.  Oh well.  It’s kind of a risk that comes with the territory.

Computer security is also important if you’re browsing the internet a lot.  It’s expected that you might not be that aware of the various dangers that are out there, but even experienced computer users can easily get infected by viruses and malware if they don’t have adequate protection against these threats.  And as is shown with the latest “heartbleed” threat, new viruses and problems are cropping up constantly.  The best thing to do is to update your computer software with the latest and greatest in terms of malware and virus protection.

When on the first date, keep it simple and short.  You can put a time limit on the date if you are nervous – simply have somewhere to be after the date.  If you want to make it flexible you can, just in case the first date goes great and you don’t want to leave right away.

The best thing is not to overthink the first date.  This is the best way to go when it comes to meeting someone for the first time.  Don’t talk about ex’s, and just try to put your best foot forward.  And most of all, have fun!

Online Dating?

photosynthesisOnline dating is hard for me.  I really can’t make any sort of connection with someone from a picture and a paragraph or two.  Messaging them is the same thing – I don’t connect.  What I need is the person to be physically in front of me, in my presence.

However there is something to be said about online dating for those who don’t have the means to always be out and about looking to pick up potential mates.  It certainly cuts out the uncertainty factor: everyone on those sites is looking for love.

For this reason it’s a good idea to at least give online dating a whirl if you’re not having luck in the dating field.  There are a few tips that I will give to you:

  • Try not to draw out the email conversations – you need to see if you have chemistry in person as that is very important.  You will save time, and you also won’t build up an image of this person in your mind too much before you actually meet them.
  • Post honest photos of yourself that are recent.
  • Don’t lie about your age or height.
  • Be open!  Try out a few dates to get a feel for the process.  Don’t be afraid to give someone a whirl – you’re not signing a contract.  They are an adult, they will have to handle rejection if it comes.

Another thing to keep in mind is to ensure that the dating sites you’re using are legitimate and certified dating site – don’t fall for any scams!  And make sure that if you’re asked to pay, that it’s a secure site.  If you’re browsing free online dating sites, then ensure that you have virus protection on your computer as well as some malware protection.  This will ensure that you don’t get any “drive by” installations of malware.

When going on dates, give information about where you’ll be to a friend or two so they can keep tabs on you.  Hey, it’s online, you never know.

But first of all – have fun!  There’s nothing better than finding the love of your life out there.

Personal sites I’ve used:

OKCupid
Match.com
Eharmony
FarmersOnly
Tinder

On Flirting With Someone Who’s Taken

I recently ran into a problem where I was flirted with by someone who had just broken up with the person they were seeing.  I thought they were free and clear.  I didn’t really start analyzing the situation….wondering if they would get back together as is what tends to happen…if they had been separate enough for this to not be a rebound…if the ex (a friend of mine, distant but still a friend) was going to be mad.  I just went with the flow.  Things got kind of crazy with the cuddling, but that was it.  I did not kiss or do anything other than that.  But that was enough to set off the small seed of attraction I had.

Two days later they got back together with the ex.  I feel bummed, very bummed.  But this person is so easy to flirt with so it is turning into a dangerous situation.  There is a definite chemistry between us.

lonewolfI’m surprised that I am so ruthless with this…that I really want to steal them away.  Maybe it’s because I don’t consider the significant other that close of a friend.  Maybe it’s because I’ve seen the significant other act in such ugly, jerkish ways to their previous ex.  And I know I would be a better fit.

I believe I’m getting way more ruthless because of the fact that I’ve been looking for a relationship for so long and wanting it so badly that I am willing to throw the nice guy antics way out the window.  They don’t seem to work anyway.

So what do I do now?  I guess the only option is to lone wolf it around, and see what other options I have.  I need to embrace the fact that I’m single rather than resent it.  It will be nice when I’m in a relationship.  And I plan on making the relationship that I do get into last a while.  So I am hoping that when it happens, I won’t be single for a good long while.

So why not enjoy being a lone wolf, free to do what I want?  I kind of like that image.  I feel like it’s the animal I can identify with the most.  I’m a very social person, but I’m also extremely independent, unafraid to do things on my own.